13 weeks

On Monday, I'll officially be out of the first trimester, no matter which calendar you use. You'd think after ten thousand years of humanity there would be some set standard, but no...apparently every site and doctor calculates it differently. Some sites say 12 weeks, some say 13, some say 13 weeks 3 days, and some say the end of 13 weeks. One even says 14 weeks 5 days, but I'm ignoring that entirely. The standard seems to be 13 weeks 3 days, so I'm going with that calculation. So MONDAY! Monday is also a huge day for us because it's the day of our first official ultrasound. Obviously I had one at 6 weeks for the ER visit, but Chris wasn't there, and let's be honest....it was essentially a jelly bean. A jelly bean with a heartbeat, yes, but still a jelly bean. Assuming all goes well, this time we should see a baby! A miniature, three inch baby. I could not be more excited...and nervous. This ultrasound checks for chromosomal abnormalities like Down's Syndrome. While we have no history of anything like that on either side of our families (well, Chris's cousin, but that might be more of a twin complication than anything else), it's still completely nerve wracking to wait for the results. Chris and I haven't really talked too much about what we'd do if there were abnormal results. I think if the results strongly indicated that there could be an issue, we'd move forward with an amnio. And if that also indicated a problem? God forbid...but I don't know. We'll cross that bridge when (hopefully never) we come to it.

What else? I'm DEFINITELY showing. Before, I could write it off as bloat. But now...well, the top of my stomach under my chest is starting to pop out a big. There's a hard little area just above my belly button - I know it's not the baby yet, but I'm assuming that some organ has decided to come vacation under my ribs.

Lastly, on Tuesday I got to hear the heartbeat at the doctor's. I had bright red spotting (this kid is really gunning for the pony) over the weekend, and while I was initially able to reassure myself by finding the heartbeat with the doppler, on Monday night I could no longer find it. Obviously, I panicked. I'd just been able to find it that morning...what could possibly have changed in less than 12 hours that would suddenly make me not be able to hear it? The last three or four times I'd tried, I'd been able to locate it in less than five minutes. On Monday night I tried for 30 or 40 minutes and couldn't find it. I won't go into detail about the crying fits I went through that day and the next day, but needless to say there were quite a bit. I called the doctor Tuesday morning, honestly expecting to hear them reassure me that the home doppler might not be as sensitive or that the baby might have moved, but instead the nurse asked me to come in as soon as possible. Honestly, that was not the response I expected at all and it absolutely terrified me. You'd think after the pain at 6 weeks and the spotting at 8 and being reassured that everything was okay despite those issues that I'd start to be less nervous, but no. Apparently you start to get attached to the little tumor growing inside you as the days go on...who knew?

I got to the appointment and met another of the midwives, who was supposed to be Pam, but in retrospect I don't think that's what her nametag said. If only there was a way I could use my computer to look it up....too bad no one has invented a way to keep information accessible, say over a global system of networked computers, via just a few keystokes. I'll just have to use my Jedi mind power instead. A ha! Her name was Heather. I really liked her a lot. Neither Chris nor my mom could go to the appointment, so I called Carol and she was able to meet me. Thank god, because if it had been bad news, I don't think I would have been able to be by myself. Pam Heather put the doppler on my belly and after a few minutes, the room filled up with the amazing, wonderful sound of the baby's heartbeat. Holy cow, I was so relieved.

So now, I just wait until Monday to hopefully see that all is well with the little one. Keep growing, baby!