Monday, August 30, 2010

Crawl under a rock

Tomorrow is my 30th birthday. Friday is Caleb's due date. I'll never be able to forget his due date because it's so close to my birthday. I had it in my head that maybe I'd go into labor a few days early and we'd share a birthday. Or even better, he'd be born a few days early and I'd still be able to say I was 29 when I had him. I should be worrying about my mucus plug falling out or my water breaking in the middle of Target, not worrying about whether surgery is the right decision and whether I'll ever be lucky enough to be pregnant again. Can this week just please be over?

I miss him so fucking much.

16 comments:

  1. ((hugs)) I miss him too sweetie

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  2. Happy Birthday Lara. Hang in there this week! your baby is coming....

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  3. I'm so sorry, Lara. Those milestones SUCK ASS. I'll be saying an extra prayer for you tomorrow. 30's around the corner for me, too... :( But 30 is the new 20, right? Right?

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  4. Hi Lara,

    I've been reading for awhile and I just wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss. It is completely unfair and terrible.

    Also, Happy Birthday. I hope that you are able to find some moments of happiness today.

    -Brianna

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  5. Happy early birthday Lara. I know how you feel my little one was supposed to be born a week before my birthday. I'm dreading it as it gets closer. I'm really hoping Caleb gets a little sister or brother soon. Sending you lots of ((((hugs)))) this week.

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  6. Just wanted to let you know I am thinking about you on your birthday and Caleb's EDD. Those milestones suck a big one....I hope this week goes quickly for you.

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  7. I am so sorry. I too have days like this. I wish it got easier, and that getting pregnant was as easy as we all once throught. Ill keep you and Caleb in my thoughts through this rough week to come.

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  8. Happy early birthday. My angel baby Jillian would have shared a birthday with you. I'll be thinking of you this week.

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  9. It totally sucks. Stevie's due date was a week after my birthday, so I too hoped we might end up sharing a birthday. All the etxra special days, like holidays and birthdays, are now extra crappy. Hang in there. Hopefully your next birthday will be filled with lots of joy. Xoxo

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  10. ((hugs)) The reminders are awful. I'm so sorry yours also falls on your birthday.

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  11. I'm so sorry. You'll be in my thoughts this week. I hope your birthday tomorrow is as happy as possible. Be kind to yourself. Hugs!

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  12. ((huge hugs)) It's really hard to know that the EDD is right there, and they aren't. For similar reasons I dont plan to "celebrate" my birthday next year.

    I am wishing you peace and strength this week.

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  13. Many hugs to you. I've been following your blog since your sweet Caleb became an angel. I will be thinking of you this week. Take care of you, and I hope your bday is as happy as possible.

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  14. Happy Birthday Lara. Keeping you and Caleb in my thoughts as your milestones come up. Hope you can manage to squeeze some happiness out of your special day.

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  15. I'll be thinking of you this week, and sending lots of prayers that you and your family get through this tough week with the least amount of hurt and pain possible. I too hope that you find at the least a glimmer of happiness and smiles on your birthday! ((hugs))

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  16. Happy Birthday Lara! Caleb is so loved.

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