Tuesday, June 1, 2010


One of the blogs I follow, The Peeks, has been a wonderful place of encouragement for me. Courtney lost her twin boys on January 31, 2009 at 22 weeks when she came down with HELLP. Almost exactly a year later, she became pregnant again - with another baby boy! I loved following the story of her second pregnancy, reading about how strong she was, and how she gave this baby all the excitement and love it deserved despite her fears. It gave me so much hope.

She just lost her third son, at 23 weeks.

I am just devastated for her and her family. This is my biggest fear: having to go through this again. She did everything right, and was being monitored left and right and had all the right testing done and everything showed that the chances of this happening again were virtually nil. Last Wednesday she started having contractions and on Monday...Memorial Day, how flipping lovely...she had her baby. This time it looks like it might have been because of BV*...a huge fear of mine because I had to take antibiotics for that just before my water broke. I hadn't known it could be a cause of pPROM until after Caleb was born and died. Whether it caused mine, we'll never know. But it looks like it might have played a part in Courtney's.

One devastated family. Two entirely unrelated causes. Three terrible deaths. It can happen again; it does happen again.

I just have no words. So. Fucking. Unfair.

*Bacterial vaginosis, another term I hate writing out. Ew.

Edited: The official cause of her son's death was incompetent cervix, which can be caused by trauma to the cervix - like the D&C she had to deliver her sons. Totally preventable with a cerclage. Complete bullshit it happened.


  1. I saw this too and am so pissed off about it. Seriously? I really do think there needs to be a "one dead baby per family" rule enforced because this is just not fair. It scares me to death.

  2. Hi Lara,
    Greetings from another dead baby mama. My son Aidan was born April 21st 2010 at 23 weeks and 3 days. If you want to come visit me at my blog:
    http://aidanbabyofmine.blogspot.com/ then you can read the whole grusome story which I promise I will get to finishing one of these days. However, the long and the short of it is that I likely had VERY early PROM and that's what eventually took my baby away. I miss my baby more than words can say and I'm very sorry that you lost your little Caleb. I love Caleb's hand and footprints by the way. I wish the ones we had were as good. Thinking of you and your husband.

  3. Sigh. Your words will stick with me. "It does happen again."

    I agree with Kristin above, there should be a one dead baby in a family rule.